What is FAMILY...

***We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for an introspective post by Mommy. You may just want to view the photos and move on. If you proceed, you can't say I didn't warn you!***

Today after nap time, J. wanted to draw. I pulled out the construction paper and crayons and he was off to create a masterpiece. He sat at the table quietly while I fed MG a bottle in the living room. A few minutes later he came running in to show me what he had done. He had created his first self portrait. This was the first time he had actually drawn something that looked (well kind of looked) like a real person. He was so proud of himself and so was I. Note that he doesn't have a body...only a head with legs...but it is still a self portrait and certainly the most prized drawing we have ever received! :-) After showing us what he had done, he ran off to draw another one. A few minutes later he came running back again showing me what he had done. I have to tell you I was quite teary when I saw his definition of our family. It was absolutely perfect. Here was the conversation...

J: Here is Daddy...he's blue...and he has a round head.
J: Here is you (Mommy)....you're red...and you have a square head. (Thanks J, I won't take it personally)
J: Here is ME (J.)...I'm green
J: Here is MG...she is purple
J: Here is Hershey...she is PURPLE TOO!!!!!!!! (insert laughter here)

Then I asked...

Mommy: Jonathan who is this? (pointing to the last blob on the paper)
J: That is Molly...I don't know what she looks like...so she's ORANGE!!!!!!!
I absolutely could not speak at that moment as I took in what he had just said. Now many of you know the significance of "Molly" and some of you do not. I have not mentioned it on this blog but it is certainly no secret. Next January, after we recuperate from the holidays, we will begin the process of adopting a baby girl from China. Her name will be Molly Hope. Not because Daddy and I thought Molly was the most perfect name for our daughter, but because J. did!!! Last fall, he picked up the name Molly from a conversation we were having and it has stuck. To J., Molly is his sister who is waiting for us in China.

A few weeks before he declared the name Molly, I bought a few children's books about adoption. We thought we should slowly begin talking about the adoption so that someday J. would understand. Well, it only took about a week of "Shaoey and Dot" and "a Mother for Choco" for our then 3 year old to understand. Very simply, he understands that there are little boys and girls in the world who don't have Mommies and Daddies or brothers or sisters. He understands that babies don't have to be "born at a hospital like MG" to be in our family. He understands that he can be a BIG BROTHER to anyone who needs a big brother. It doesn't matter if they are "born at a hospital like MG". To me, one of the greatest lessons we can teach our children is this very simple thing. Family is about love...nothing more...nothing less.

To me, family is not about genetics or biology. It is not about being physically born from a woman who shares with me the same resembling DNA. My mother is not my mother because we share similar chromosomes. She is my mother because I love her and she loves me. I share no genetic link with the love of my life and yet I love him more than I could possibly express in this post. I have been blessed with a handfull of women in my life that I consider my "sisters". They are my sisters because they have filled a place in my heart as no one ever has. We share nothing genetically and yet I feel as if I have known them my entire life. And last but not least, my children are MY children, not because I carried them, but because they are a gift from God. I do not believe he entrusted them to me simply because I could bring them into the world. He knew them before they were born, he knew THEY were the children he would give to us and Molly Hope is no exception.

I have been asked 100 times why we would want to adopt internationally. Very simply, it's because it is something I have been called to do. I am sure many of you have made life decisions based upon something you felt was your "calling". I have always felt my "calling" was caring for other people. After having a child that caring transformed into something much bigger, being a Mother. Not only to the children I carried but to any child who needs one. I have known adoption was in my heart for years, long before our first child was ever a reality. I am just thankful I have been blessed with a husband who shares this same tender heart for the millions of orphans of the world. (I warned you this was introspective...) There was a time during the past four years when I didn't think I would have more than one child. All I can say is God gets His way no matter how many road blocks you THINK you have put up. I am so glad He knew better than we did.

I say all of this to get to this point. We have been blessed with a four year old who believes that Molly is part of our family. She isn't here yet. She doesn't even exist at this point and yet he loves her. He loves someone he doesn't know. He loves her because in his eyes and in his heart she is his sister. He understands that she won't look exactly like us. He knows that she won't come from Mommy's tummy like MG. He understands that we will have to travel a long way and be gone for a long time to bring her home. He cares enough that it makes him sad that others might not have Mommies and Daddies and he is happy to share his with someone who needs one. Though he doesn't understand the complicated reasons for China's abandoned daughters, he understands this... there are little people just like him in the world who need BIG BROTHERS, BIG SISTERS and FAMILIES! He's happy to step in and fill that empty spot. Oh, how you can not imagine how much JOY this brings to my heart.

If only a four year old's child-like faith could convince the world of the broader definition of family. I hope and pray that he will always have a heart full of love for each and every person...not just those linked to him by genetics. Will he always feel this way? I don't know. What I do know is I will spend every day of the rest of my life praying he does...that THEY do. A loving heart like his will be as much a gift to the world as he is to us...each and every one of us...even those who aren't even here yet.