If you know me in real life, you already know that I have a love for little people. As a Mother of two and a pediatric nurse by profession, little people are my business. If you have known me longer than say, 4 days, you also know that I have a sincere passion in my heart for little people without families. By definition they are orphans but in my vocabulary they are precious little people who need Mommy's and Daddy's. I just don't like the word orphan. If you have known me longer than say, a week, you know that there is a piece of my heart that belongs to China. It is a culture I have never experienced first hand, yet, for some reason it holds such a strong sense of presence within my heart. I know why. She just isn't here yet. Today, that is my problem.
On Monday afternoon, Sichuan Province, China was hit with an earthquake reaching 7.8 on the Richter scale. It is now estimated that the death toll may reach 50,000 people, possibly more. With the recent cyclone in Myanmar and now the earthquake in China, it seems tragedy is everywhere. Yes, tragedy strikes here in our own backyard. I recognize that. However, we as a country have many more resources to deal with the problem at hand. I wish I knew why these things are happening but once again I am reminded there is only One who knows the answers to these kind of questions.
This morning I received an email update from Jenny Bowen who is the director of Half the Sky. I read it. I wept. I wept big ugly Charlie Brown tears. I had this startling moment of fear. Is our daughter there? Is she safe? My heart tells me she has already been born. If so, who is caring for her during this tragedy? Is she in a province far away from Sichuan? If so, what about all of the other children in the orphanages of Sichuan. When their world was literally rocked, who comforted them when they were afraid? They have nannies who are responsible for who knows how many children at one time. They do not have a Mommy to hold them close and tell them, "Mommy is here. Everything will be OK." It is in times of tragedy we draw close to our family and those we love. Have you ever stopped for one second and contemplated what it would be like for a child who didn't have that choice. To search for the face of someone who loves you with the unconditional love you deserve but that face never appears. That is what Monday must of been like for the children in the orphanages of Sichuan province. I can only take comfort in knowing that He was there comforting their hearts when their Mommy's were not.
My convictions are not your convictions. Your convictions are not mine. I know that. I wish I could make you all have the passion that I have for these children but I know that God gives each of us different callings. That is what makes the world go round. What I am asking you to do is please pray for these people. For the citizens of China (and Myanmar). For our world. For these children. Not only are they without a Mommy and Daddy to tuck them in tonight but some of them are without safe shelter and basic necessities essential to life.
And today, I am asking you for one very specific prayer...IF this feeling I have is accurate...if our daughter is already born...Please pray that He will protect her. Pray for her just as you would pray for J or MG if I asked you. Pray that He will wrap His loving arms around her until we can bring her safely home to our family where she belongs. No, I do not know her. I do not have an ultrasound photo or an ever growing tummy to show for this child. She grows in my heart. For me, that is enough to make her my daughter. For me, that is enough to make me her Mommy.
Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it
--- Fleur Conkling Heylinger
Friday, May 16, 2008
Heartbreak in China...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I share in your grief. I have been unable to read, watch or look at any news coming out of China. I get too torn up and then I find myself obsessing over the devestation and sadness for days. When those feelings come I stop and pray - I will add your little one to that prayer. I have a Chinese "little sister." She spent 5 years living with my parents as a college student. Today she is living in CA getting her master's degree and will eventually head back to China...now as a young Christian woman. I'm so proud of her. When she was living here she was able to share so much about her country, family, and culture. Her mom aborted a baby in order to avoid gov't fees and harrassment. It goes on every day there. Moms and Dads are fined beyond belief and pressured into killing their unborn. Adoption is only for the orphans that fill up the gov't run orphanages and not for the babies yet to be born, who are possibly slated for abortion. We know a Chinese family right now who is in hiding because she is pregnant with her third child and cannot afford the fee for having a third -they gave up a home, jobs, and safety to save their baby. That's devestating beyond thought. For all of these reasons my family will not be watching and supporting the Olympics in China and I've even tried to figure out how to avoid buying things made in China...that's nearly impossible. Obviously, you hit upon a soar spot in my heart as well. I can feel some of your pain. Thanks for this post.
It is unreal how so much tragedy can strike in such a short amount of time. We must pray for all those involved. I will definitely be praying for your sweet sweet baby girl!!! God bless her.
Mommy, I am praying. You know I am praying.
I am definately praying for you and for your daughter!
Post a Comment