Next stop--CHINA!

Emotions are high and quite frankly I am a mess. This will probably not make much sense but I need to say this. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Very shortly we will load overflowing luggage into the car and head for the airport. Our pal Darren is picking us up at 3:45 am. Now THAT is a real friend. Essentials have been crammed into every last square centimeter available. Lists have been checked, double checked and rechecked. Last minute phone calls have been made. Schedules have been arranged and typed in chronological order for each member of the Womble family. Everyone "on call" is officially "on call" until further notice. After all these years, the day has finally arrived.

Within the hour I will kiss two of my babies goodbye for the next 15 days. Not because I want to but because it is the decision we feel is best for them. As I have said many times, the only hesitation I have EVER had with our adoption is leaving Wild Man and Little Miss at home. I know they will be loved immensely while we away but I can not help but wish there was some way, ANY WAY, to bring MeiMei home without being half a world away from her brother and sister. I know our absence is going to be difficult for them, especially Little Miss, and already my heart is aching. 15 days without holding two of my babies. This is going to be the hardest two weeks of my life. There have been many hard weeks in my life but I have a feeling this may top the cake. Oh please God. With every ounce of my being I pray that You will keep us all safe. Wrap your loving arms around them. Comfort them in our absence. Help them to be strong and sweet and smart and brave. Remind them Mommy and Daddy love them to the moon and back again (even if we are looking at opposite sides of the same moon). It is my hearts cry tonight. Please keep us all safe and bring us all home together as a family of 5 in 15 days. In Jesus name. Amen. Ok--moving on--I can't go there right now--too much...

In a few short hours I will board an airplane. Two actually. The first of which is one of those tiny little commuter jets that hold about 50 people including the crew. It makes me want to toss my cookies just thinking about it. The second will be a very large--no make that HUGE--metal tube flying at 500+ miles per hour above some of the coldest most remote areas of the planet for a total of 14 hours and 1 minute. I can assure you I will be seated and secured TIGHTLY during that time. Who needs potty breaks anyway? I am 99% certain there are not enough "happy pills" in my carry on (or the Chiefs) to remove the scary thoughts from my overanalyzing brain (but I plan to challenge that theory). I'll get back to you. Don't worry. I have made sure the Chief has enough Kleenex in his pocket to wipe the drool from my chin. According to my calculations (I love to say that), the drugs should wear off about the time we spot land again. I've never literally kissed the ground of an airport but I'm thinking Beijing may be my first. I can do all things...I can do all things...

In approximately 24 hours we will land in the country of our daughter's birth. We have never set foot upon the continent of Asia and yet somehow it already owns a piece of my heart. Can you believe we are going to China? CHINA, PEOPLE!!! I have been "expecting" this child longer than my other two pregnancies combined. I've been "pregnant" WAY. TOO. LONG! When I think about all of this I am so overwhelmed. We are going to CHINA! Oceans will no longer divide us. Governments and bureaucracy will never again stand in our way. After a few days absorbing as much Chinese culture as two Americans can take in (while conquering jet lag and hopefully avoiding H1N1 quarantine) we'll take to the hopefully friendly skies once again for a "quick" three hour flight to Guangdong. Our southern girl waits for us there. I bet you never thought you would EVER hear me categorize a 3 hour flight as "quick" but in comparison to 14 it sounds like a cakewalk.

In six days we will walk, perhaps run, wholeheartedly into the Civil Affairs Bureau in Guangdong, China to meet our daughter. No longer will she be our daughter who waits for us in still photographs. She will become a living, breathing, walking, talking face with a new name. A first name her brother chose. A middle name with such significant meaning. I honestly can't believe I am typing these words. The wait will soon be over and she will be in our arms where she belongs. Oh how I can not wait for that day. Despite the unknowns of this week, there is one thing I know for certain. MeiMei was meant to be our daughter. Whatever the next few weeks, months and even years may bring, we will face it together. As a family. I pray she will feel the love we have to share with her and want to accept it. I have faith the One who created her will heal her heart. It will take time but I believe it will happen eventually. Just as I dreamed of the day I would hold Wild Man and Little Miss, so have I dreamed of September 14. After all this time, six days feels like we're nearing the end of the home stretch. This is happening. This is really really happening! What a blessing it is to become a parent each and every time we are given the opportunity. Though equally as miraculous, this "birth" feels a tiny bit more humbling.

Fast forward to 15 days from now when we will all be together as a family. A forever family. After I kiss the ground at the airport, I'm going to sprint to baggage claim where I know I will cry the biggest Charlie Brown tears of joy ever to be shed. It is quite possible I will knock down half the people in front of me on the escalator to get to my babies. Seriously--you guys better hold up a sign telling everyone in the path of the Mom and Dad with the Chinese baby to MOVE IT OR LOSE IT! No, I'm not kidding. I will spare no life or limb to get to them so everyone in my path better get the heck out of dodge. Coming through....Coming through...Excuse me....Pardon me...I have not seen two of my children in 15 days...MOVE. IT. PEOPLE.

For months I have been saying I wanted to get this show on the road. Can you believe it? The curtain goes up today. We are beyond practice and dress rehearsal. No more list making and travel planning. This is it! We are going to meet MeiMei in SIX DAYS. On one hand I am sooooo overjoyed. humbled. in awe. ecstatic. On the other, I know what I have to do in a few minutes and I am overwhelmed with sadness. I wish I was a world traveler. I wish I was brave and strong. I wish I could get on that plane without one ounce of fear. I wish...I wish...I wish... I want my cake and eat it too, ya know? Can't we just wiggle our noses like Samantha Stephens, skip the plane ride, take Wild Man and Little Miss with us, grab our girl, absorb a little culture and take the Dorothy approach on the way home? There's no place like home...There's no place like home...There's no place like home... So true... There is NO PLACE like home. I know that is just a dream. Instead I have to step out in faith trusting that He is bigger than my Mommy fear and my anxiety about the next 15 days. On that note...

Isn't it amazing how BIG God is? Before the beginning of time He ordained THIS day. THIS child. THIS family. THIS country. THIS miracle. He planted THIS seed in my heart as a little girl before I knew where it would take me. He brought two teenagers together who happen to share THIS heart for babies all over the world without Mommy's and Daddy's. He orchestrated every last miraculous detail of THIS awe inspiring story--her story--a story I can't wait to tell the world once she is safely home in our arms. He knew THIS day would come even before she was born--before WE were born. Did I always believe THIS day would come (especially over the past year)? No. But you know what? He did. He knew even when I stopped believing. In the winter, when I desperately wanted to believe He was bigger than my fears. When I wanted to believe He had a plan but I wanted Him to tell ME the plan. When I cried myself to sleep at night wondering if all of this was in vain. You know what? He already knew about March 27. He already knew about MeiMei. He already knew her story before she took her first breath. He knows her story from this day forward and we are so humbled He chose us to be part of it. I adopted Hebrews 11:1 as my verse for MeiMei long before we ever knew her face. It says "Now faith is being sure of what we HOPE for and certain of what we do not see". Somehow we knew this was the plan He had for our family. No, we did not hope for the circumstance behind how she will become part of our family. We hoped that someday we could become the parents of a child who needed a family. In so many ways, it is my children who have helped grow my faith, each in their own way. Even before holding this child in my arms she has taught me that faith is not about God answering your prayers. It is about believing He can and He will, if He so chooses, in His own time. That time is now. Thank you Lord for calling us, providing for us and encouraging us to find the daughter and sister you meant for our family.

-To those who have prayed with us--for us--over us...
-To those who wrote letters vouching for our stellar parental status (hahaha)...
-To those who listened to me fuss--cry--scream--yell--about this ridiculous process when you had no idea what in the world I was talking about...
-To those who celebrated each small victory when, secretly, you couldn't remember what PA or CA stood for but you celebrated anyway...
-To those who encouraged us when it seemed today would never come...
-To those adoptive parents who are/were in this boat with us--supporting us as only those who have been there-done that can do...
-To those who are putting their own lives on hold the next 15 days to help two of our babies feel safe and loved while we are away...
-To those who have loved and supported us throughout each and every step of this process...

From the very bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU! We have been blessed by amazing friends and family. Please know we could not have waded this process without your prayers and encouragement. We love you all so much more than words can convey.

-Specifically, to my dear friends SBM and CA: I know today is bittersweet for you and I want you to know I understand. I know you are overjoyed for us but I imagine a tiny part of you wishes you were boarding a plane today. I wish I could take both of you with me. I wish we were doing this together but for whatever reason it is not to be. I have and will continue to pray every single day that God will lead you to your girls. I love you both.

And on that note, I am going to turn off the waterworks and stop spilling the depths of my soul. To my girls--you know who you are. I am taping Philippians 4:6-9 to the seat in front of me so I will not forget what I know is truth. I will DELIGHT in the Creator of this amazing and humbling opportunity. I will not allow fear or worry to steal my joy. {Deep breath. This is where the fear and worry comes in. Gulp.} Right now I'm off to blow kisses and whisper prayers over two of our sleeping babies. Goodbyes do not come easy for me. I'm fairly certain I could use a few therapy sessions about that topic but after 31 years, what's a few more days? At this moment I have to don my Mommy face, convince myself that our children at home are going to have the time of their lives while we are away, take a few plane rides and go get our girl. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for the safety of our entire family over the next 15 days (and several extremely brilliant pilots with thousands of hours of flight time on their resumes). I'm not sure if this makes any sense. No time to proof or rearrange after an hour of cathartic journaling. If you are still with me--BLESS YOU SWEET LITTLE HEART. To my precious MeiMei--your days without a family are numbered. Ready or not here we come. Next stop...CHINA!!!!!!

All our love,
Mommy and the Chief