Before and After...

This time last year we were finishing up the final stages of our dossier. We were waiting for the phone to ring while simultaneously questioning if our agency was going to be able to find our daughter. So many things were up in the air. So many unanswered questions. So much doubt filled my mind. Waiting has never been my strong suit. I was painting the smile I knew I needed to have for my family yet deep down I knew someone was missing. I knew we had a daughter who was supposed to be here but wasn't. The Chief thought I was crazy as a Betsy bug, and maybe I am, but I wasn't crazy on this one. While her stocking was hanging here on the fireplace mantel, she WAS there without her forever family.Today I was reminded of a song I played over and over last year during the month of December. I couldn't listen to the first line before the waterworks showed up thinking of the "little girl trembling on a cold December morn crying for Momma's arms". I knew it wasn't time. I knew God's timing is always perfect but it was tough for this Momma knowing she was there and we were here. Little did I know at the time she WAS there but not in an orphanage. She had recently been moved to foster care after seven months at a phenomenal American based medical foster home in Dongguan, China. What a huge blessing!

Today I listened to the song for the first time without tears. Well, almost without tears. I was fine until I made it to the last verse...

Merry Christmas by Third Day...

There's a little girl trembling on a cold December morn
Crying for Momma's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
Where the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the fire's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow

But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come to carry you here

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
And we celebrate his perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
And prepare a place for us
So we could have a home with him above

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart, and I'll tell you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

MeiMei,

Even before the pitter-pat of your little feet filled our home, we prayed, loved, dreamed, HOPEd and planned for you. Merry Christmas precious girl. We pray your first Christmas with your family will fill your heart with immeasurable joy.

Love,
Mommy