At this moment I am studying the words of a beautiful letter. A letter sent from across the ocean to our family via my Inbox. It begins "Greetings from China" and is filled with joy, sadness and hope. It is a letter from Mei Mei's foster family.
A few weeks ago I sent an email knowing they may never receive it but hopeful they would some day check the account they gave me the day we met. And now I'm reading their words. Some of it is lost in translation but I can feel the emotion in their words. I can tell that even six months later they are still so sad that she is gone. I can only imagine it to be like losing someone you love. One day they are here. The next day they are gone.
You see, they did what I can't imagine doing as a Mother. They loved a beautiful little girl for ten months. They gave of themselves to give her what she needed. Then they placed her in the hands of complete strangers and they let her go. Yes, they knew that was part of the job description but I can't imagine that made it any easier. They loved her and then they let her go. You can hear their broken hearts within their words. They want to know if she is eating? Is she sleeping? What are her living conditions? I'm here rejoicing at how far she (and we) have come in 6 months and they are going to bed every night wondering if we are feeding her or if she is safe? Can you imagine? As a Mother, my heart is so broken for this precious family. We are rejoicing in their sadness. It feels so unfair.
Today I am reminded that Mei Mei's life did not begin the day they placed her in our arms. Her life began 18 months before we touched her sweet face. Another woman an ocean away carried her within her womb. An entire foster home of nannies nursed her back to health. A foster mother rocked her to sleep at night--every night--for ten months. She knew that she loves broccoli. She knew that her little head sweats when she gets upset. She knew the joy of her laughter and the flash of her cheeky smile long before we did. How incredibly thankful we are for these amazing people who gave their hearts to our daughter without asking anything in return.
I know some day we will have to explain all of this to Mei Mei. How do you do that as a parent? How do I tell my daughter I know NOTHING about her birth. How do I explain to her that she had a foster family in China who dearly loved her but could not be her parents? How will I help her process the loss she has already experienced in her life. I can't imagine it right now. Please God give us the words when that day arrives.
And now I have to hit reply. Somehow I have to reassure these precious people that our love for Mei Mei is very real. I'm not sure how to do that but I will do my best to try.
(included in email--photo taken 5-1-2009)
9 comments:
Wow, that is so awesome! I wish we had something like that to give to our girls, but unfortunately we do not. Our oldest was in foster care, but we were never given any contact info on them despite requesting it and sending a letter and photos via the SWI. You truly have a special gift to give to Mei Mei someday. I know you know how lucky you are!
Blessings my friend!
Oh my, what a post. I can't imagine how they have missed this sweet little girl and how they have worried about her well being.
I am sure that you can put their worries to rest with wonderful family stories and beautiful pictures of this thriving child.
Being adopted, this continues to touch my heart so. I wonder how my birth family felt, if they ever think of me.
Blessings,
Lisa
WOW...what an incredible gift to have that from your foster family! there is still grief to work through but what a gift to your daughter!
Oh, Mommy, I am getting teary-eyed reading this! You know, in my stupid head, I thought they wouldn't miss her so much. Isn't that dumb? How could they not take a baby into their home, but not their hearts? I guess I just didn't think about it. I mean, I still think of the baby that we didn't get last May, and hope she's okay, and I NEVER met her.
Love you!
As a former foster parent, thank you for taking the time to update the family that loved and lost. I know how very much it meant to them. I know.
Our youngest child, adopted, was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. A few weeks ago he commented to me that he knew that his mom loved him, but why didn't she love him enough to remain sober for nine months? It was something we had to be very honest with him about. I honestly shared with him that even Scripture talks about the sins of parents being passed on to generations.
A family in China is now reassured thanks to your kindness. A little girl was not carried under your heart, bur rather in it as you drempt about her joining you......
It has been and continues to be a joy to read Mei Mei's story with your family. Blessings to you all. aleisha
I feel ya sister! I e-mail occasionally with E's foster mom. She always asks questions about her eating and size. I know she loved (and still loves) her.
I also sent her my blog address and I know she checks it occasionally. It is nice to know that she can, and gives her a glimpse into our life even if all she can understand are the pictures.
Eliza has started talking alot lately about "My mala-mala" and "you come to get me" and has even thrown in "2 momma's". We are treading through it carefully but openly and lovingly that somewhere else there are other women who love her too! It is hard to process as an adult, so I try not to bombard her with it and we take each step with what she is ready for!
I'm so glad you've been able to get in communication with them. It's such a blessing to have this contact with these families who did so much for our little girls!
THis is what they just couldn't tell us about. i don't know about you but it never entered my mind before it happened--i wonder how many of us there are, with these new relationships with foster parents. How wonderful for you both that you were able to get in touch!
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