Early this morning the greatest woman I've ever known went home to be with the Lord. My Meme was my maternal grandmother but she was so much more than just a title. She was truly one of the greatest influences in my life. Selfishly my heart is broken today but I am also celebrating her great reward in heaven. If anyone in my life deserved to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant" it was Meme.
She faithfully loved my Papa for 62 years until his passing two years ago. In today's world that is a HUGE accomplishment. They married in 1948, the day after her 18th birthday, and never looked back. She would tell you he drove her bananas at times with his opinions and crazy politics but she loved him nonetheless. She was a mother of two, grandmother of four and great-grandmother of eleven. Alzheimer's is a terrible disease that robbed my Meme of so many wonderful memories over the past twenty years. She slowly forgot the names of my babies, my husband and so many of those she loved dearly. She even forgot our oldest daughter was her namesake. It has been so difficult to watch from the sidelines as her mind slowly slipped away but I am thankful she is now whole, healed and in the presence of her Creator. I know, because of all she taught me, I will see her again.
If she taught me anything it was to love Jesus. If they cracked a window to the church building my Meme and Papa were there with bells on. During service, she always sat with Papa to her right and me to her left. She would wrap her arm around me and hold my hand while I played with her wedding ring. She talked to me often about what it meant to love God and make choices that were pleasing to Him. I had no idea at the time how those days would eventually come full circle. I'm thankful she chose to "train up a child" even when all I wanted to do was sleep in. To this day each time I sat beside her she would reach for my hand to hold. This 34 year old wife and Mother of four gladly reached back to hold the frail hand of one who has loved me so well.
My Mom and I lived with Meme and Papa from the time I was three or four until I was in 5th grade. Mom worked about an hour away so my Meme was usually the one to get me ready for the 6:10 am bus stop. I vividly remember the smell of sausage gravy and biscuits as she carried me through the kitchen to the breakfast table. Most mornings I didn't touch my food opting for an extra 10 minutes of sleep but she always got up at 5 am to cook regardless. As I got older I would tell her she didn't have to cook for me but she wouldn't hear of it. "Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day" she would always say. I had to go school with a full tummy so my "brain would be awake and ready to learn". She always regretted her lack of formal education and constantly stressed to me the importance. I never forgot.
Deep down I think she wanted me to be a singer so she encouraged me to sing at church and play piano. That was a complete and TOTAL pipe dream on her part but it took her a while to cut me some slack on that one. Her confidence in me to do ANYTHING was always genuine. However, if you've heard me sing you would have questioned her judgement on this one. It just goes to show a grandmother's love is much like a mothers. Tone deaf.
As I reflect I realize many of my memories of Meme come from her kitchen. She always saved the biscuit dough for me to play with (back when PlayDoh wasn't a household staple). She made me eat the disgusting broccoli casserole because all good girls eat their vegetables. She made the BEST chess pies on every semi-important occasion. One chess pie filling + 2 pie crusts = the skinniest chess pies known to man. My entire childhood I thought chess pies were suppose to be skinny. I didn't know it was because she knew how to stretch a dollar. She taught me to shape a perfect hamburger patty. Then she regretted the decision when I wrapped one patty of perfection in aluminum foil, placed it in the MICROWAVE for 10 minutes and went back outside to play. :) Thankfully she forgave me for almost burning down the house after a few days and a quick batch of her favorite no bake cookies as a peace offering. Even then I knew my sweet loving Meme couldn't resist a little chocolate and a good hug from her one and only granddaughter.
She wasn't fussy or pretentious. She was simply LOVE. She never made you question if you were valued or important. She told you. You never entered or left her presence without a hug and an I love you. It was simply a given. When I was six years old, I lost my half sister in a tragic accident. The last time I saw her I refused to hug her goodbye and tell her I loved her because I was mad. I'm sure it was over something silly but after she died I was so upset about my decision. I confided in my Meme about what had happened and why I was so sad. I remember where we sat, the color of the dress she wore and the way she stroked my hair as I cried. She told me she was sure that A knew I loved her. However, I should ALWAYS tell the people I care about that I love them no matter what... even if I'm mad. That one conversation has stuck with me my entire life. If you are dear to me, you'll know. I have no reservation in telling you. I am proud to say the greatest example of unconditional love I've ever known taught me that.
Yes, I am sad. How strange it was to inch up the driveway today knowing neither my Meme or Papa were at home. The house was quiet. No one smiled brightly when I walked in the door. No one asked me how I was at least 25 times or told me to enjoy my children because they will grow up fast. No one told me the story of the time me and my three cousins took a pill and got in big trouble. No one chuckled when she spoke of fly swat spankings or endless summers of mischief. No one reached for my hand today or hugged me with the long lingering hug of a grandmother.
However...
Today my Meme is no longer fragile and suffering. For that I am overjoyed. I am indescribably thankful for her life and the gifts of love she leaves behind. She was a great woman who loved God and loved others more than she loved herself. In the end there could be no greater legacy.
