Day 10: True Children's Home

Today we had the honor and privilege to travel to Dongguan to visit True Children's Home. What a blessing this organization has been to our daughter. MeiMei has been under the care of TCH since she was 6 days old. I know that surprises some of you but it is not something I could share publicly until after we had her in our arms. She lived at the foster home until November 2008 when she entered TCH foster care. She remained with the same foster family until Monday when she came to meet us in Guangzhou.

We traveled with the Eckert family whose daughter is also a TCH baby. When we arrived the nannies were playing with the children in both the younger baby home and the older baby home. They are basically apartments across the hall from each other. Several of the nannies recognized MeiMei from her time at TCH before going to foster care. One particular nanny nearly jumped us coming through the door to love her up. MeiMei did not recognize her but the nanny clearly recognized MeiMei.

We had the opportunity to tour all of the crib rooms at TCH as part of our tour. Guess which room MeiMei was in before she went to foster care? The Disney Room--how appropriate! Her crib was the one in the corner with the Disney alphabet paintings on both sides.

After we spent some time with Jenny, TCH Executive Director, and Katrina, TCH jack of all trades, learning about the organization it was time to meet the foster family. The Chief stayed at TCH along with MeiMei, Keith, Li Li and Koen while Kelly and I went across the street with Jenny to meet the foster families. We knew it was in MeiMei and Li Li's best interests to not see them again. It would be too confusing for them.

It was an awkward meeting at first. The entire family came: Mother, Father, Sister and boyfriend, Brother and girlfriend. They were so visibly sad, so heartbroken, that she is gone. They asked me repeatedly to please keep in touch and I assured them that we would. They also brought a few special snacks they know MeiMei loves along with a few other things as well. I have thought long and hard about this over the past few days and have decided the details from her foster family are her details to tell--not mine. We have decided not to share them publicly to protect her privacy.

After our meeting, Katrina took us out to a local restaurant for lunch.. MeiMei decided to flirt with the waitress and we caught a glimpse of the smile she's been hiding for five days--such a sweet noodly grin. Oh what I wouldn't give right now for her to flash one at ME! After lunch, we drove back over to TCH quickly to say goodbye to Jenny before we had to leave. I know it is bittersweet for Jenny and Katrina to say goodbye to us. It would be for me as well.

Due to Friday afternoon traffic, it was over 3 hours in the van from Dongguan to Shamian Island. We missed the tour with our travel mates and we missed our pearl market vendor as well. Once we made it back to the hotel we grabbed some dinner and collapsed for the night. There is so much more to this post but I do not have the time to journal it all right now. Suffice it to say TCH is the reason why our baby is coming home safe and healthy.

Love from China,
M

Day 9: Medical Exam Day

~ sent 11 pm China time / 10 am CST

Another low key day here in China. We had MeiMei's medical exam this morning at the clinic down the street. I have seen so many photos of this building so it was fun to see it with my own eyes. MeiMei passed all areas of the medical exam including the hearing exam (which consisted of two bears squeaked into her ear). It was very thorough. :-) LOL! Due to the new Hague requirements she must receive 5 immunizations before she can obtain her VISA. We go back on Saturday to receive the last two. Ugh!


The situation remains the same between the two of us but we had a few good moments. There was less crying today which made for a less emotionally stressful day for all three of us. We had lunch at Lucy's and MeiMei let me roll the car back and forth to her while we waited for our food. We had a few moments at dinner where she waved at me and let me feed her with a spoon. When we came back to the room tonight she kept bringing me all the trash to throw away when the Chief told her to "Take this to Mommy". Yes, that's right, I've been demoted to trash lady but I'll take what I can get. :-) I know that is so small but I am holding on to the little things right now. Thank you to all of you who have sent emails and left such supportive comments here.


Since I had empty arms this afternoon (not by choice), I took Amy's advice and participated in a little retail therapy. What more could make a sad Mommy feel better than 8 pairs of squeaky shoes and a whole host of other goodies to take home. While I was carrying shopping bags, the Chief was wearing a baby in an Ergo carrier in 90+ degree heat with 80% humidity. It is SOOOO STINKIN' HOT HERE!!!!!!! By the time we were finished shopping we were all dripping wet.

As for the home turf, everyone seems to be well. One of my best friends from high school is having her baby today (our tonight). It stinks to be on the other side of the planet when one of your besties is in the hospital but what can you do? We love you guys very much and can't wait to meet baby NoName. Love you Rach!

Mrs. Kara and Mrs. Suzanne--if you are reading this--you'll be so happy to know MeiMei has already learned the sign for more and she's not afraid to use it. You can see her asking for "MORE" noodles in one of the pictures from lunch. Tomorrow we get to visit TCH. We are looking forward to it.


XOXO,
Mommy, the Chief and MeiMei

Day 8: Passport Photo Day

~ sent 4:37 am China time / 3:37 pm CST

Today was a fairly low key day. We were stuck in the hotel most of the day because of the typhoon rains. The rain would stop, the sun would come out, we would grab our things, go downstairs and by the time we got off the elevator the bottom had fallen out AGAIN! I think it helps MeiMei to get out of the hotel but the rain is making it nearly impossible. I think by Saturday the remnants of the typhoon will be gone and we can get out.



MeiMei decided during breakfast that Daddy is wonderful and Mommy is NOT! She has been calling him "guoguo" which we discovered this afternoon means older brother in Cantonese. It makes sense because her foster parents were older and they had an older son in his 20's who we think was very active in her life. So right now she thinks the Chief is her big brother and I am a big scary brownish haired woman who IS NOT her Mommy. If anyone says anything about "Mama or Mommy" she shakes her head no and points out the window as if to say "SHE IS NOT MY MOMMY! MY MAMA IS OUT THERE". It nearly rips my heart out every time. She called her foster mother "Mama" so I am calling myself "Mommy" to try to seperate the two names but she's not buying it.

She came out of her shell very briefly in Lori and Anthony's room this morning. No smiles or laughter but she wasn't crying so that is an improvement. Lily was playing with toys and she wanted to play too. She was talking a little, sharing goldfish with Lily and playing ball from the Chief's lap. No smiles or anything and she refuses to let her feet touch the floor even though she REALLY wanted some toys she could not reach.



Our only official appointment was to have MeiMei's passport photo made at the local police station. She was dressed so cute and actually kept her bow on her head until they made her take it off for the photo. She's going to be a little irritated with me someday that she has crazy hair in her Chinese passport. They wouldn't even give me time to comb it down before they snapped the picture. Grrrr...


We took the Guarino's back to La Dolce Vita for dinner tonight. MeiMei ate spaghetti and loved it. She will fit right in with her new family. We've never met a pasta we didn't like. I had lasagna which was...well...it was not MY lasagna but it was OK. Comfort food is not always comfort food when you are away from home.

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(DO NOT READ THIS PARAGRAPH TO OUR CHILDREN AT HOME)
Overall I think her day today was the same as yesterday except for that brief period with Lily this morning. She pretty much despises everything about me. She will not even let me feed her now. The Chief has to do it or she won't eat. I KNOW she has every right to feel this way. I KNOW this is normal for her to grieve in this way. I KNOW it is a good sign that she was loved and she will attach to us later. I KNEW this was a possibility but I won't lie and say I'm fine with it. It is very painful for me to be completely rejected. I have loved her for sooo long--even before I knew her face--and she won't let me within a few feet of her without clinging to the Chief like I'm an alien. I know this is hard for the Chief as well both physically and emotionally. It is so hard to see the other children in our travel group adjusting well and MeiMei so incredibly sad. I miss Wild Man and Little Miss more than I can articulate. One of my best friends is having her baby tomorrow and I won't be there. I am so ready to get on that plane and we're only half way there.
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Praying tomorrow is a better day for all of us...
love Mommy, the Chief and MeiMei

Day 7: Adoption Day

-sent 3 am China time/2 pm at home

To Wild Man and Little Miss...
We love you both so much. We are so proud of how brave you are being while we are away. I hope you have been tearing your paper chain and marking off your days. If you have, you know we are almost half way there. We will be home before you know it. We could feel your excitement this morning when you "met" MeiMei. We can't wait for you to meet her in person. Have a great day. We love you all the way to the moon and back again. Love, Mommy and Daddy

Today we awoke to Typhoon Koppu and the flooded streets of Shamian Island. Guangdong province is in Southern China, north of Hong Kong and bordered by the South China Sea. We are in Guangzhou, Guangdong which is a 2 hour train ride from Hong Kong. When came down for breakfast and saw the water up to the front hotel step we assumed our morning appointment would be canceled. There was no way out--or so we thought. Ha. Apparently our driver did not get the memo that one should NEVER drive through water across a roadway. He thought it was perfectly OK to drive a van full of families through standing water up to the doors around an island surrounded by a River. Since Grace thought it was "very safe" as well we were instructed to get in the van. You can put this on the list of the dumbest things we have ever done because someone told us to do it. Apparently once or twice a year when a typhoon hits the mainland, Shamian Island is flooded by the Pearl River (which surrounds the island on all sides). Lucky us to get to experience it. :-i


Once we made it through the flooded streets we drove back to the Civil Affairs office. MeiMei was extremely upset to return to Civil Affairs. We were there for about 2 hours finalizing the adoption which was pure torture for her. She was hot, tired and completely overwhelmed to be back there and surrounded by all of those people. Our guide Grace is sweet as pie but SLOW AS MOLASSES which made the morning incredibly stressful for us. Thankfully we do not have to go back there anymore.


When we got back to the hotel we went out to lunch at Cow and Bridge with the Guarino's. It was YUMMY YUMMY--the best meal we have had in a few days. MeiMei ate a little bit of chicken and noodles. It was so stinkin cute to see her slurp those noodles like spaghetti. We'll work on manners later but for now the cute factor prevails.

The Chief picked up our laundry after lunch and this is what we found inside the laundry bag... Washed, dried, ironed and neatly folded clothing right down to the unmentionables. That laundry bag was almost full and THIS is how it came back to us? Three bags of clothes? Crazy!


She took her first bottle when we got back to the hotel. She WOULD NOT take it any way but sitting straight up. If I tilted her back, even slightly, she totally lost it. We tried to take an afternoon nap but she was having no part of her crib. She slept on my chest for a bit but we were afraid to let her sleep too late in the day.


We had dinner at a really yummy Italian place on the island and ran into my pal Amy from RQ (an online group for adoptive parents). We snapped a quick pic of the girls together. Don't they look thrilled? I'm so glad we were able to meet in person. Hopefully when they meet again they will have smiles instead of frowns.


Bath and bedtime was rough tonight but hopefully it will get better with each day. These little black pajamas have been in the top of my closet since winter 2008 when I won them in a giveaway. I was soooo excited to see they fit MeiMei perfectly. (Kim W--please tell your pal that I was finally able to use them. :-)


I wish I had taken pictures or a video of what happened tonight but I will do it if it happens again. You are not going to believe me but MeiMei fell asleep standing up in her crib. STANDING UP! She was terrified to lie down but we thought she stopped crying when we left the room because she couldn't see us anymore. Nope. Not the case. She was asleep...STANDING UP. She wasn't waving to us. She had wedged her legs in the slats and thrown her arms over the sides to support herself and fallen asleep...STANDING UP! She was moving her arms to balance herself. After watching her for a while, we were afraid she would topple out the crib on the hardwood floor. Sooooo...we did what we NEVER do...we put her in bed between us. I have a bad feeling that is going to come back to bite us later but what are we supposed to do?

As for MeiMei, she is doing OK. She is grieving fiercely and breaking our hearts in the process. She dislikes us both equally so she does not prefer either of us. She ate today and took two bottles which is an improvement over yesterday. They say each day will get better. I hope they are right. This tops the cake as the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. Feeling so helpless to comfort someone you have loved for so long only to be rejected in return. She has EVERY RIGHT to grieve, to be sad, to mourn, to push us away. I completely understand WHY but it doesn't negate the fact it is incredibly difficult for us to watch. Hopefully tomorrow will better than today and the next and the next... Please continue to pray for MeiMei and her broken heart.

Goodnight from China...

Day 6: MeiMei Day

-sent 4:30 am China time/3:30 pm CST

Much like the birth of a child, today has been an incredible day filled with mountainous highs and unfathomable lows. I know most only want to see the photos so I am sending those now and will journal about our day when I can. The first hour after meeting MeiMei went fairly well until right before we left Civil Affairs. She is grieving her foster family in a way we could not have imagined. It is heartwrenching for us to hear her cry out constantly for Mama and Baba knowing we are not the Mama and Baba she is desperate to find. Before we knew her face I prayed she "would be loved and cared for until we could bring her home". It was my prayer every single day. Without question they loved and adored her and she loved them in return. We are so thankful for that blessing even if it breaks our hearts in the transition. We know with certainty He created her to be part of this family. We know God will heal her heart with time. We know she will love us in return...someday. In the meantime, we will love her with every ounce of our being until that day arrives. I know we have asked for many prayers during this process but we have never needed them more than tonight. Please pray she will find comfort and peace in our arms.

Love to all from China...

Day 6: The Story of MeiMei Day

We woke up to the realization that we are FINALLY having a baby. We must of said that 25 times..."We're having a baby today!". After breakfast with our travel mates, we all headed to the bank to exchange money. I resisted the urge to take photos in the bank even though I REALLY wanted to break out the Nikon. The "NO PHOTO" sign on the wall and the uniformed guy in the lobby waving an AK47 was a great deterrent. You'll just have to trust me when I say exchanging large sums of money in China is quite an experience. Two HOURS later we all got what we needed and promptly returned to the hotel. We prepared our gifts and ran back out to pick up a few things we had forgotten. By the time we got back to the hotel they had cleaned our room and left MeiMei's crib behind. I nearly cried when I saw it. Tonight our MeiMei will be sleeping in that crib. Oh my goodness this is really happening!

We freshened up and met Grace and the Guarino's in the lobby at 2 pm. We rode about 20 minutes across town to the Civil Affairs bureau. Grace said 46 families were meeting their children today so it was going to be very busy. Ha. That was the understatement of the year. It was chaos: too hot, too many people, nervous parents, fearful children (some terrified). It was sensory overload at it's best.

They keep the children behind a curtain in the playroom until the paperwork has been completed. We caught our first glimpse of her sitting on a stool in the playroom. There she was in a little pink outfit as cute as a button. Jenny, True Children's Home Executive Director, presented us with a scrapbook of photographs from birth until this month, a calligraphy pen made with MeiMei's hair from her first haircut and a blanket made by an organization in Arizona. They choose blankets based upon their personalities. MeiMei's is green with crabs all over it. Hmmmm...wonder how that resembles her personality? I guess we'll figure it out soon.

When the time finally came to meet MeiMei, the Chief received her from the Nanny. Of course she was terrified and cried hysterically. We tried to find a quiet spot to sit down but with 46 families there was no quiet to be found. She cried for a long time and wailed for a bit. She wanted no part of my bag of tricks and finally gave up and collapsed into my arms. She wouldn't look at my face. She just molded into my body and wouldn't let go. It took forever to complete the paperwork and we were the last three families to leave the Civil Affairs Building. About the time we stepped on the elevator she lost it again.

Grace took the guys into the Carrefour (AKA Chinese Walmart) to buy formula while the Mom's waited in the van. Poor MeiMei was still wailing and pushing me away the entire time they were in the store. She kept crying for Mama (her foster mother) and pointing out the window. She would point to her backpack, point to herself and then point out the window as if to say "I want to take my backpack and go home to Mama". Oh--it just broke my heart in tiny pieces. Absolutely heartbreaking. How do you comfort a child who is broken hearted? How do you explain that we love her so much even if it doesn't seem like it to her right now? Once the Dad's found what we needed, with Grace's help of course, we went back to the hotel, ordered room service and tried to settle in for the night. She would not eat or take her bottle but we did get her to drink one of her favorite yogurt drinks TCH gave us.

We gave her a quick bath which went about as well as the time I tried to bathe Hershey (our cat) with vanilla cat shampoo. We are pretty sure she has never bathed in a bathtub before which is probably why she was so afraid. After bath and another hour of wailing she finally fell asleep in my arms. She would be very quiet for a minute and then it was as if she would remember something and the Charlie Brown tears would fall. It was a hard day for her and us in return.

There have been moments when she cried, when the two of us cried and when we all cried together. I have become a Mommy three times and I can honestly say the first two were much easier than comforting a heartbroken baby. There is no epidural in the world that can make this kind of heartache go away. Not for her or for me. Tonight we go to bed exhausted and with heavy hearts. We know without question she is our MeiMei but we also recognize all she has lost today in order to become a part of her forever family. With time we know her heart will be healed and we look forward to that day with anticipation.

Welcome to your forever family Molly Hope Yangsu Womble. We have waited a very long time to meet you. We pray above all things you will find...

peace in knowing you were chosen to be part of this forever family,
joy in all circumstances--even those that are difficult to understand,
love within the arms that hold you from this day forward and
hope in the God who knew your beautiful face long before the day of your birth.

With overflowing love on our first forever family day,
Mommy and Daddy

And then one morning...

9/14 @ 7:39 AM China time---9/13 @ 6:39 PM CST

Every call has a beginning
A quiet moment when God
whispers a promise to a mother's heart
A holy place where a father bows and faithfully accepts
the journey set before him.
A miraculous morning that unexpectedly dawns
Casting its first light on a chosen threshold
A gentle knock...a closed door opens
A sacred invitation sent by the Father
Leads to the other side of the world
Where lonely hearts stare out orphanage windows
Praying for someone to care
And then one morning,
On an ordinary day
An orphan's life changes
God sends them a second chance...
Through YOU

-author unknown

Today is our one morning--our ordinary day--except it is anything but ordinary. Prior to today, September 14 has been just another day on the calendar. After today it will never be ordinary again. Much like May 8. November 25. June 18. March 27. All are dates within the circle of this family. Days that changed our lives for the better. We are on an emotional roller coaster this morning as we contemplate what is about to take place. We are thrilled to finally greet this day--MeiMei Day--although our overall feelings are bittersweet. Today MeiMei will transition from her foster family to her forever family. To most that would seem like a glorious day. It is, for us, but not necessarily for her. While we have loved her for months, even years, the reality is she has not loved us. We know she is going to grieve the loss of those who have cared for her over the past 18 months. How do we explain to an 18 month old that we have loved her from afar--we have prayed for her since before her birth--we are not temporary--we are her forever family in ever sense of the word? We know the answer. It isn't possible. Our request today is for you to pray specifically for MeiMei. Please pray that the God who knitted her together will comfort her. That somehow, beyond fear, language and cultural divide the peace that can only come from Him will surround and comfort her grieving heart.

It is my intention to archive the comments from today for MeiMei to read when she is older. We want her to know that from the very day she joined our family she was loved--just like her brother and sister. If you feel so led, please leave your prayers and wishes for our new daughter in the comments section below. I believe someday she will come to cherish your words and wishes.

With boundless love and great anticipation for the day set before us,
M and J

Day 5: Welcome to Guangdong

~ sent Sunday 5:56 pm China time / 4:56 am CST

We have made it to Guangdong province and are settling in to our hotel. It's been a long day but I will try to upload pictures later tonight (updated to add pictures Sunday @ 8:24 pm CST). We received our itinerary for the next 11 days at check-in. We also met my agency friend Lori and her husband tonight. We had a nice dinner at the famous Lucy's while trying to keep each other awake. I forgot to break out the camera but we have 11 days together so I'm sure I'll have time for pictures later.

Our chariot to Guangdong (air china)...

Little Miss & Wild Man prepare to travel to Guandong...

Flat Pals tagging along for the ride...

Full service meal on a 3 hour flight (GASP)...

Victory Hotel bellboy who picked us up at airport...

Capturing the "real China" passing through Guangzhou City...

Our suite at the Victory...

We have quite a bit of paperwork to do before we leave tomorrow at 2 pm. I can't believe it is finally here! We meet MeiMei tomorrow at 3 pm China time--2 am Monday morning at home. Only a few more hours until MeiMei Day!

Day 5: Beijing recap...

~sent 9/13 @ 3 pm China time / 2 am CST

Well, so much for a good night sleep. We slept from 9-2 and have been wide awake ever since. I spoke too soon on being on China time. Ugh! Since it is currently 4 am and I have given up on trying to go back to sleep I'm going to wrap up our time in Beijing. I know these posts are wordy but we want to remember everything we can about China. Someday we want to tell her about her country and our adventures while we were there.

The traffic...
I don't even know where to begin. There is no way the DMV would hand out a license to anyone on the road in Beijing. NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON! Apparently white lines on the road are invisible to everyone but foreigners. Traffic lights are just a suggestion. Bicycles coexist with cars and the riders are completely fearless. We have seen them dart in front of a car going 30 mph without an ounce of fear. One way street signs mean absolutely nothing. Streets that look as if they are made for one car can actually fit three lanes and a few bicycles mixed in between. Honking your horn is an absolute necessity. One short horn means "I'm here. Please don't come over." A few short horns in a row means "HELLO? Do you see me?" One very long horn means "HEY! You are two inches from my car. Could you please move back over?" All that and noone gets mad. No road rage. No shaking fingers or ugly words screamed out the window.


The bicycles...
We are fascinated by the bicycles. Little old men riding bicycles with loads three times their size tied down on the back. OLD tricycles loaded down with bottled water in the middle of traffic. A propane tank strapped to the side in the middle of rush hour. Small children sitting on a little seat behind their parents--unstrapped--just hanging on in heavy traffic enjoying the ride.


Crossing the street...
Enter at your own risk. It's like a bad game of Frogger except with humans. Cars, vans, bicycles and buses EVERYWHERE with people crossing the street ANYWHERE. No cross walk required. People cross one lane of traffic with cars speeding past on both sides--cross another--cross another until they make it to the other side. If they use the cross walk to cross a 10 lane highway they just ignore the speeding cars all around them. It is CRAZY!

The rickshaw ride and hutong tour...
We were fascinated that the locals allow people into their homes. By US standards, they were very poor yet so very proud. It was quite humbling.


Squatty potties...
Ummmm...I made it to day 4 before encountering a squattie. Sorry for the nature of the photograph but I know some of you have never seen anything like it. I had never seen one in person until today. Glad I live in the west. :-) Enough said.


A slice of the familiar...
There really is a McDonald's on every corner. Pizza Hut and KFC are considered "nice" restaurants. Oh and I couldn't resist this one. Apparently there are Georgia Bulldog fans all over the world. Most popular Chinese sports: basketball, soccer, ping-pong and badmitton.


Randomness and religion from our guide...
Christianity is alive and well in China. Our guide is a young Christian woman living in Beijing. She attends a church with four Sunday services and classes/studies throughout the week. She said no one tells her when or where she can worship which I found very interesting. She said there are Christian churches all over China.